Ok, here we go. My first post in English, or, more specifically, in a different language not exactly defined, that is not Spanish. And why, the thousands of my readers will ask. “Why are you doing this to us?!!”. Easy, my fellow readers, easy. First off, the stats say that you probably have found this site either looking up in google “stickers of fishes” or “how to make my mind blank“. Sad but true, so I honestly believe that the usefulness of this site is the same in Spanish, English, Esperanto or the language of the f’s. Fo fou fpik ef? Nevermind, the Spanish version of the f language is definitely better. I guess in English, the f language is another one…
Well, but the actual reason I am writing this in English, or pseudo-English, is because Vinayak has just tagged me. That, of course, in geological terms: the continents were formed 2 billion years ago, the present ice age started 40 million years ago, the last glacial period ended 10,000 years ago, and Vinayak just tagged me. Using another timeframe we might say that he tagged me around 7 months ago, but that’s kind of lame. I am gonna link to him again, just in case.
Well, and my thousands of readers will now ask themselves: “and what the fuck is that thing of tagging?” (observe how graciously I can manage the English and the f language). Well, my friends, it’s not easy to know. Vinayak, the guy who started this thing, instead of explaining what it is, started to talk about gay things, like how much he likes the fallen red leaves of the autumm and things alike. After that, he went on taking about his hairdo and other things as weird as that.
It was not easy to know what that thing of tagging is. But however, as Richard would say, in this world there are two kind of people, and winners don’t give up, so using state-of-the-art search and research (i.e. search two or more times) technologies, we found the source of that thing of tagging, or at least the previous link in what started to look like a chain. Aha… a chain… It’s a chain of people with weird hairdos?? Hmm, we can’t confirm how the hair of Soul looks like, but it’s likely that it’s normal. So, what is that thing of tagging?
At this point most, if anybody has read this far is because is drunk, stoned or only speaks Malyalam, but anyway, I am going to quote what to be tagged means, according to Soul: “to list weird things about myself”. Aha!! We were so close… After that she goes on into very complicated mathematical calculations, that I don’t quite understand, but as a result of them she comes out with the magic number of 8, kind of the golden number of weird items the tagged person has to list. Vinayak, using less advanced methods gets that number as seven. As Vinayak is usually right in this kind of things, and it’s possible that Soul got a rounding error, we are going to stick with Vinayak’s approximation of the Golden Number of Tagging (GNT): 7
After that we might also list the GNP and GDP of, say, 7 countries. However, there is still one question remaining. Soul said: “list weird things about myself”. So, who is “myself“?? Is Soul? Maybe Vinayak? Or Vinayak’s hairdo??? Let’s ask Google. Ok, I felt lucky but we only got a lot of unintelligible English words and sentences, with just a picture of a donkey. Hence, I will assume that “myself” is me.
So here we go. Weird facts about myself:
- I am extremely intelligent. I am so intelligent and smart that I overflow the IQ tests (if that makes some sense). I could be a nuclear physicist or build rockets, but one get bored after a while, so I entertain myself most of the time leaving my car keys inside my car (with the engine running is specially funny), missing buses, trains, airplanes and other kinds of transportation; and getting deceived by both professional corporate scams (such as rental agreements, cellphone contracts, etc) as by other more daily ones.
- I believe that everything that comes on TV is true. That is actually not weird, as anybody with minimal, formal education, and at least one TV, believes the same. However, there are degrees of truthness. For example whatever is shown between aprox. 1 am and 6 am is the word of God. Actually I believe that the Bible, the Vedas and other holy books were just transcriptions of this kind of programs but just some time ago (I think then it was black and white, that is no yellow, brown or blue people; and no real estate foreclosures either).
- I am the reincarnation of Mozart, and maybe of Beethoven as well. To show the world my amazing piano skills, I recently bought a superb Yamaha PSR-190 keybord. Besides other unbeliavable things, like piano keys, it has some buttons (red, gray, purple and yellow ones) that make each different, awesome sounds. I don’t have any buttons myself, but I can actually make different, awesome sounds with most of the parts of my body.
- Sadly, I am not a Sports Racer. I don’t have any Power Move either, but I am working on that.
- I like 5. In Spanish you can have a silly joke. “How many fingers do you have in one hand?” “Five!” “I fuck your ass!”… :-|… In English I guess it’s not as funny. The joke doesn’t work either with sawmill workers.
- I am extremely tidy and clean. For some time I thought that I was one of the cleanest persons in the whole world. However, travelling made me a little bit more humble, and after living one year with Mr. Julien, Mr. Rahuljit, Mr. Vinayak and Mr. Hudi, I can say that there are other gentlemen that are at least as clean, and tidy, as I am.
- I always should go to sleep before I actually go. This still stands true to this very moment.
Well, so these are my weird facts. There are more, but they shall be kept until the next time I am tagged. But before saying anything stupid else, I would like to congratulate Vinayak because, believe it or not, he’s going to graduate tomorrow, even though he (kind of) finished his courses long ago. When he was going to school he was not doing anything anyway, so there is not that much differece. I would really like to see him walking… And also, it’d be nice if Vinayak writes a little bit more in his blog. I actually like his writings (that’s definitely something weird of me).
Note: to underscore how true the first fact is, I had to update this entry: I was saying that both Vinayak and Rahuljit were going to take the walk tomorrow. Well, actually Rahuljit did it like one year ago, and I also missed it for the same dull reasons I am missing it in this occasion. He just finished his thesis now.